Das Hier Black #3

"My name is Action Cake and along with Ice Chreemys and The Mighty Spoon I protect Just Desserts, a thriving metropolis of two million souls. We are the Adventurers Three and together we are hard to beat, though it's an easy gig when the villains that we face are as weak as they are." He said, laughing at the ridiculous nature of their rogue's gallery, which was laughable to say the least with only Red Beet...

...being a threat. And that only happened twice, once when he grabbed hold of the Blade of Serving and the second time where he managed to throw us into a strange world where everything was oh so serious and we wouldn't have recognized oursleves if we didn't know who we were." He said, shuddering at the thought of that world little realizing that what he was describing.

"Do you mind Mr Narrator?" He said, as if he could see me and knew that I was there, even though he could not see me and shouldn't even be able to hear me.

"You're right, I can't see you Mr. Narrator, which is good for you, because if I could, I would give you a piece of my mind because you no doubt have something to do with this travesty that is about to befall us. Don't you?" He said to me, like I should know what he was even yammering about.

"Don't lie to me Mr. Narrator, or stupid voice actor just playing the role of a narrator. I mean the travesty of turning us into a serious cartoon when we were meant to be a lighthearted 22 minute weekly romp instead of some serious adventure show where there are actual stakes and the villains aren't buffoons. That's the travesty I'm talking about." Somehow Action Cake knew what I was, though I take umbrage at the fact that he called me a stupid voice actor, I was better than and deserved to be called what I was, a very good voice actor on a show that many people were excited about.

"You insist on lying! The longtime fans are not at all happy and their feelings are not being taken into account. Better my property, because let's be honest, I am the straw that stirs the drink on this particular property and it wouldn't be the same if I couldn't be me, which is funny. So forcing me to be serious is going to totally wreck the property. And yes, it took me a few days to come to terms with the fact that I'm not real." Action said and I could imagine how devastating it would be, without conceiving it as being possible because I'm real.

"Whatever. I accept that I'm not real, that I'm some writer's idea of what's real, though since i'm a hero cake who fights alongside a bowl of ice cream and a spoon that that's one futted up writer who still manage to make their weird idea popular through two series. So more power to him that his mind gave birth to all of this." He said, pointing first to himself then gesturing to all the parts of the property that were to be found in the room which included, television, comics, toys, t-shirts, posters and games.

So are you going to answer me or are you going to continue to ignore my question and hope I forget that I asked it?" He said to me through gritted teeth. And as much as I wanted to ignore him I could only ignore him for so long. 

"Yes Action Cake, of course I'm a part of the rejuvenation of this great property." I said to him, though I couldn't see him like he could see me. SO I could only guess what he looked like, whether he had the classic look he'd had in the 80's or the look that he had in recent reboot of just a few years ago I could only guess. Not that it  mattered because the redesign was totally awesome was going to be the look that would be remembered for the ages.

"Not all memories for the ages are the right memories. I can't think of any examples at the moment, but that's not what I was made to be, a great good thinker because I'm Action Cake. A cake that fights crime. Like how could that idea be taken on a serious journey? So to me, this can only be a travesty. Admittedly, an entertainment travesty, a failure to keep a brand alive through sheer stupidity that wreaks of ego so it's not like the travesty of that absurd boomer, those fires, the fate of your planet and so many others I'd be fearful of your future if I were you. But it's still a very stupid thing." he said, sounding very much like a closeminded idiot who couldn't see the brilliance of this reboot.

"Look Action Cake, I get that you;re pissed, but trust me, the writing staff only has the best intentions for you and yours and you're going to love the harder edge that they're taking the property in."

"Never!" I shook my head and sighed. I was afraid of that. So you're sure about that right?

"Absolutely. What you're doing is wrong."

"I was afraid you'd say that Action Cake." I said, as I knew what had to happen now, which pained me, but would pain him even more as he was going to be the one to truly suffer.

"Wait, what? What are you talking about narrator?" He asked as I could hear the panic in his voice as he looked at me, and for the first time, understood the power that I had over him. And not just because I was real and he wasn't.

"What am I talking about Action Cake? Well, I'm not just the narrator, or stupid voice actor, as you so vehemently put it, but I'm one of the writers and your attitude has made it necessary for us to forcibly remove the memory of your dislike of this reboot from you instead of letting it happen naturally because it would bleed through and effect you going ahead and we can't afford this. I was hoping to avoid this but you are dead set against it and we can't have that." I said, shaking my head as I sent the members of the writer's room group chat the message that he had forced my hand and that I was going to remove the memories from him as we had discussed.

"No! You can't do this to me you bastard! I am Action Cake and you are some halfwit narrator, voice actor and writer! I won't let this happen!" he said, almost sounding like he could actually do what he said he would when he couldn't. He was nothing but a character in a property that needed this reboot in the worst way. And it was lucky that it was getting this treatment because we could have surely turned our attentions elsewhere.

"I'm sorry that it has to be as painful as it's going to be for you Action Cake, but that's just the way it has to be."" I said, lying to him, not that I cared because I didn't I knew that this was what the property needed and had never felt so strongly about such a decision before as I did about this one. And I also didn't care that he knew that I was lying to him because he was as bad as the old school fans. Both sets. They didn't understand that this was the only decision that could be made to save the property. Besides, they would still have the old continuities to keep them warm." I said, laughing as the messages from the other five writers who were all telling me to do it! He had it coming.

"Damn you! You're nothing but...."

I chuckled as I ended his existence by writing him out. I'd never killed a character like this before, or thought that I would, but in the moment, I was happy.

And I texted them back that the deed was done and we'd have no more complaints from the full of himself fool who just didn't understand what was good for him.

It felt good to get that off my chest as this is a story about the ridiculous decision to reboot a serious franchise that had two runs, one a long time  ago when I myself was young and one that was more recent with this reboot making a mockery of its seriopus past by making it a silly thing.

Admittedly, the original series was nothing special in my eyes as the the villains were mostly inept, save for the leader, but there was little sense of menace to them. The heroes were fine, though the talking pet/nursemaid(?) was not to my liking, it was a quality series nonetheless.

The first reboot was much more serious and could have been epic if they had stayed the course with it.

But they did not and now we stand here today, with the stupid reboot coming. I have seen all I need to see of it to know that I will not be watching it when it is available to see.

I'll not curse them out for it or anything, but it's an entertainment wrong. 

Life goes on though. I just had to get this off my chest because the fools involved in this entertainment wrong deserve the criticism.

Speaking of getting things off of my chest, my fellow blogger Sutheran Kimf is an ass and he's not shouldering the weight like he thinks that he is. 

So it is fortunate for him that we have never met because I would have more than words for him and he would not like that at all because I know that I am surely stronger than and would take him down like the titch that he is.

He'd do well to keep this in mind when he returns from his day off and blogs again because like everyone else, I have a limit to my patience and won't hesitate to give him what he has earned from me.

But at the end of the day, we are both Societors and aour aims are aligned in doing what Petrie did by shouldering the load in the writing of a million words. So in that and that alone, we are together and I will not wish him ill and expect him to wish me well too.

That is the least that he can do. I trust that he has already realized this and is merely resisting to do what's right. It's only a matter of time before he does the right thing as it comes to his attitude towards me.

And once that is done, we'll be good. We won't be friends, but not all associates have to be friends to work towards the same aim.

That's just the wishful thinking of the naive.

I am not naive.

And yes, the supposedly real voice actor and writer, Benton Harris Wright is no more real than Action Cake.

So the joke's on him.

I almost want to create just such a series and see what it could become.

Only I don't write for silly and ridiculous, though I can enjoy it as a fan if it's a good silly and ridiculous.

So it won't be happening.

Not with me writing it at least and since no one is going to take up this idea from me and run with it, means that it won;t happen at all

And all I can say is oh well.

I'll still be a part of a small Society, or club really, of writers that gathered together and wrote a million words if we all live up to our obligations that we have agreed to. I know that I will. And I 'm certain Sutheran Kimf will too.

And that's a better thing than bringing an out there series to the people.

Okay, it isn't, but I'm not about to bring any series to the people whereas I can be one of the Societors who comes together in the writing of a million words.

And how many people can say that?

Outside of Petrie of course, who will always be a World Champion thanks to his World Championship tally of 1,025,805 words that I am confident in saying no one else was able to match.

Be well.

Charles Petrie

Date
01-19-20

Time
05:30-05:59=029, 11:50-11:59=09, 14:01-17:59=238
19:45-23:59=254
530 Minutes

Word Count

076+160+647+1209=2092