Das Hier #26
And now there's a pencil with us?
Have I died and gone to hell?
Please let it just be purgatory.
And is the pencil here to record our journey or something?
I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with this. Who do I get to protest this to?
It's still a democracy right?
Though if I'm dead and gone to hell, or even purgatory, there's no democracy in that is there?
At least Random Tree tends to keep quiet."
So this is how long it took for us to collectively fail in our quest to write 1,032,020 words this year?
Just 29 days?
This is the 30th but the failure began yesterday when I couldn't write us past 1000 words, though at least I got close with 723 words.
Today? I'm not even close as I began the 4th quarter with not even a hundred words.
As a writer, I'm ashamed of myself for that kind of output.
There's plenty of time left in this day for me redeem myself, but I fear that collectively we have lost our way and that I cannot seem to lead us to the same promised land that the good Petrie can now lay claim to.
And he did it all by himself.
What kind of ending would I need to be happy with today and feel that I had redeemed myself?
Nothing less than 2000 words and the way that I feel now, I don't see that happening.
First things first, is to make it to a thousand and that's a tall order.
Maybe I should give it up and take the defeat of back to back days of shameful writerness, which is admittedly something I am ascribing only to myself and not all writers, or any other writer outside of our collective.
But collectively, we did not want to write anything less than 1000 words a day and I failed us yesterday.
My moral authority to think of myself as the leader of our collective has to be questioned at the very least. If not rejected.
And right now, as much as I want us to lead from a more compelling source of words than journal writing, but Franklin is the man to lead us.
We just have to unleash him.
Or I have to I suppose since I am the one who asked him to take the rest of January off when he was looking to come back and resume the numbers lead with back to back days where he killed in in the 4th quarter to the tally of 4072 words.
I don't regret asking him, even in the wake of my failure these past two days, but clearly, it was the wrong decision and I have to wonder how quick he'll be to wanting to assume the leadership of our little collective because he's the only one that I can see dragging us, kicking and screaming over the line.
I will rebound, because I have the fire in my writer's belly, but right now, I feel defeated and know with a sad certainty that I don't have it in me this day and barring one of the others stepping up, we're going to suffer back to back days of sad writerness.
This would be the perfect time for Nos Glorieux to win and give us hope that they can actually right their ship and have any chance at qualifying for the Touarnament because they had drifted back towards the ways of winning before the mid-season pause.
Or they can add to my feelings of lowness as they continue another losing streak that could only be 8 games, because that's the streak they reach when they sink this season.
A third such streak of futility would sink them and lead to the trading off of parts.
So please Nos Glorieux, do me a great good favour and win.
And make it a good win too. One where your keeper stands tall and they can't score a single goal while you score four.
It's okay to score on the opposition at will. You don't have to let them feel good about themselves and pass you when you've taken a lead of mul;tiple goals and end uup losing by one or more.
Too many times more, though you've had plenty of losses by just one.
But taking the first penalty in tonight's game is not the way to do it because there's no way you're going to do something amazing like score a goal while they have the advantage on you. And you certainly won't do that more than once.
Your Great Rivals though did that once which is something they have on you, along with their much more recent success in the tournament.
And they've already scored to take the lead.
Tell me this is not their third midst of losing like that's the only thing that they can do at times?
That's about the last thing that I need right now.
I did however just find myself with more words in the 4th than I wrote all of yesterday, so that is one good thing about today that I can point to.
But it's not enough to bring me redemption. I'm a ways off from that.
Do you at least like the story that I started to write about the cactus and the tree?
I think that since I draw as well, I should try and create some kind of comic strip.
But humans are played out so I went and created Needles and Random Tree.
It was going to be Carl Cactus but do you know anyone with a family name of Human? Yes, there's the director Michael Mann, but that's not the same thing.
Hence Needles.
Wait, what?
Nos Glorieux scored twice at the beginning of the period while I was doing other things and not paying the game any attention?
I hate when they do that.
Yes, yes it is good that they took the lead but why can't they score more while I am watching?
It's the 3rd now and Nos Glorieux continue to lead, but with the way the season has gone, a one goal lead is not going to be enough and sadly, they are more than capable of giving up 2 goals in a period.
Please win Nos Glorieux.
And in the heat of the action before the passing of regularity so that your opponents cannot gain anything from this game.
Can you do that?
Oh bother.
They jut got called for the penalty. And as this is currently a season to be forgotten in the coming wave of success, I write with hope, they will be scored on and the game will be tied.
With any luck, that will be the last goal scored on them in regularity of the game, but owing to the above, the game will be lost in the over.
The first opposition goal was scored with the advantage.
So it would not surprise me that they would score their 2nd with the advantage.
I've slowed down in the writing but that is not because of the game.
I am merely distracted.
They didn't get scored on!
Where's the other shoe though?
Oh my. There's fewer than 4 minutes to play. How long until the opposing keeper is pulled?
They pulled their keeper and Nos Glorieux scored to win the game with a two goal lead with little more than a minute to play!
They are going to win the game!
And Nos Glorieux's keeper just tried to score!
Sweet.
This result makes me happy!
The next result that will make me like that is writing the two thousand words that i earlier said that I would need.
I'm not there yet, but I might just there before the end of the day because I am buoyed by the win and and have written with the fire in my belly this final quarter.
But is it enough.
Especially when the other fire in my belly is lighting up and I don't know that I can long resist it because I don't need redemption tonight.
I am halfway to redemption after all.
So yes, this where I bring an end to my writing day humans. While I am still ashamed of how little I wrote in the morning on one of my six days, I rallied in the final quarter to write more than I did yesterday, when I didn't feel ashamed.
All this to say, I shouldn't feel that way since at the end, I did more than okay, I owned this quarter.
Be blessed humans.
Charles Petrie
Date
01-30-20
Time
Untimed And 18:27-22:08=221
Word Count
92+1451=1543
92+1451=1543
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