Das Hier #5


"I was supposed to be a gun. Not for any particular reason, just that I was conceived to be a gun but life's a funny thing and I wound up being a stick."

"I'm glad you're a stick because as a stack of papers, that makes us related and I'd hate to be alone here next to a gun since I hate guns and there's far too many of them in the world as it is, so I'm glad there wasn't one more in the world, even if it was only a gun that could do nothing to flesh and blood people."

"You do know that I'm sharp enough to make your life very difficult right? It's not just guns that do damage but a stick like me could own your ass with ease."

"I know, but why would you hurt me when I've done nothing wrong? And, sticks don't do the kind of damage that guns do. I'm sure that I have stats to back that up."

"See, you just sent a shiver down the length of my body and for a moment, I imagined myself smacking you apart. Because stats are not just stats. They are full of people's ideas that are often troublesome."

"What do you mean by that Stick?"

"There's too many idiots believing fake news. They should listen to me, because I am not fake news."

"Oh, you're one of those are you?"

"Watch it Stack!"

"Where's the bread and fixings? There's plenty of meat there, but no bread, mustard and lettuce. And meat by itself, that belongs in a sandwich just doesn't taste the same.

"But, but, but." I paused and made a noise with my throat as he stroked his beard and looked at me hard. And I wilted under his strong gaze, feeling very much like the lettuce, wilted and felt like I was sweating under a very hot light. "Fine, that stack of ham, peperroni and bologna needs the bread, mustard, lettuce, cucumber, green peppers and three pickles that he would get at a sandwich place." I said, taking a breath as my stomach began to rumble.

"Enough Ovys, I'm hungry and I didn't wasn't scheduled to be hungry for another hour and you just threw my schedule off because of your describing a very tasty sandwich that one would buy at a sandwich shoppe." And once again, he looked at me hard, though this time, the anger was clear and I wondered if he wanted to do to me what Stick had threatened to do Stack.

"But you're the one that made the analogy in the first place, I was just building off of it and building like a very good sandwich." I said with a smile, as I knew that this could only serve to make him hungrier because he had the sandwich on his mind.

Charles Petrie

Date
01-04-20

Time
11:27-11:59=32 Minutes

Word Count
477

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