Das Hier #48
I am tired and should admit that it is for the best that I go to sleep, but wanting as I want to be free to do as I wish tonight, which includes not writing for the eighty minutes that I would be writing for in the final quarter as I am going to be doing the 10-20-40-80 writing for the foreseeable future, that means I have to turn it on its head and do it in reverse this morning.
Whether I will be able to see this through to the end because of this feeling of fatigue, even though i do not think that I will fall asleep as I sit in my chair and wonder of I should not go to the Face Club as often as I do because I have to wonder if I do gain from going there.
Granted, it affords me an excellent opportunity to draw a goodly number of drawings that I wouldn't have otherwise, but now when I need to be wide awake and writing hard, I am fighting off fatigue and wondering if I can write well in these crucial eighty minutes where it is essential that I write one thousand words to say the least.
And 1000 words would in fact be a terrible least as 1300 is far more close to the tally that I seeking because this means of attacking the words lends itself well to the writing of 3000 words, which again, is not needed, but if we can grab these tallies as opposed to the lesser tallies of the lesser days, or the reaching of the camp at the base of the mountain, than so much better off we will be.
Especially when I feel the wake of creativity from going to the Club and encountering a human friend who has a far greater talent in drawing than I as well as complementary ones that make me envious of her.
And as you can no doubt imagine, I am rarely, if ever envious of humans.
But I am envious of her with her obvious superior talent in the scratching out of lines on a page and can well imagine that she can craft a tale better than I can as well.
But I would sooner encourage a resumption of these doings, even if it was for but once a week or month, it would give me a reason to puff out my chest for having encouraged the sharing of a gift. of hers than to say whatever, we don't need you.
And a simple way for this would in the creating of a strip, which could easily be done weekly which is not a great requirement of time.
Or am I wrong for thinking this? Is this a human thing that I can't understand because I am not human?
Whatever the case may be, I offered her a challenge that if I can draw a a figure that strikesa her fancy, she will draw him, or her.
She has not agreed to accept this challenge, but fingers crossed, she will accept it, even though it coud take me months to draw that one drawing that will spark the goodly want in her to write.
But this is a goodly challenge for myself that I will attack with reckless abandon.
Or some form of it, with one effort a day in the coming months.
If only i could say the same about one effort a day in drawing a drawing that can possibly inspire a story. But that is easier said than done.
But this of course has noting to do with my hearer to tired state of mind.
Maybe it is the looming sword that is above my head and swinging fast enough to snap free of its hanging rope so that it can fall at my feet and scare some more alien out of me.
Oh bother.
Brother Remmikyn stood quietly in front of the high heavy doors as he had for months, since the Eldest of the Order had bid him to do one early morning like it was the most important thing that could be asked, which was of course very curious since all they did at the Great House of Galth was to brew Drinkk and baked the breads of goodful health.
So being asked and in secret no less to daily stand guard for five hours each day was the most curious of things that could have been asked of him.
But for all those months since that day, nothing untoward has happened and should have continued to be the case.
Only this was to prove to not be the case, this day as he had just come to stand in front of the door.
It is as I feared as the tally that I sought out is not going to be the tally that I reach with both hands as I have come to write slowly this morning as I am only now closing in on 800 words with ten minutes of writing left before the alarm it sounds and I step away from the keyboard and shake my head in disappointment that I could do no better than 1073 words when I had as much time as I did
Surely this day will fail to be any good as I will fall well short of the first good peak only the second say of this great experiment.
This is not good at all.
An alien writer should be able to do better than a human writer for weeks on end. But I couldn't manage to do it for days.
I should be ashamed of myself for failing as epicly as I have with not even 1073 words which is not even a number of significance. The minimum that I reached with the morning being one of 80 instead of ten was 1200, not 981.
Surely I deserve nothing more than a single meal this day since I could not earn myself a goodful helping of good
And what better time to punish my failings than at the first meal, since it was at the first meal that I failed. I deserve no less a punishment.
Oh bother,
How could I write so slowly when I did so very well last night when the 80 minutes was laid out in front of me.
Or did I fail so badly because I ignored the natural order of things by seeking to write the largest most in the first writing of the day?
That could well be it because I am not falling upon my face tired, which would explain this failing more readily.
All that truly matters is that I have failed to bring myself as close to the higher and longer with this sad excuse of a writer's sitting.
There will be no breakfast for me this day.
And I will wear the robes of my shame for the length of the day.
I couldn't even go two whole days with the fullness of the 10, 20, 40, 80 as I failed to even make an appearance in the second quarter.
Also, I don't think that I'm going to climb all the way to the first good peak for the first time in almost a week.
But I will reach the camp at the base of the mountain because I am just going to write until I do as I am dropping the 10, 20, 40, 80 today.
Of course, thanks to the first quarter's tally, I only have to write another 857 words.
I can do that in the next hour if I can just catch a little flow.
But I don't think that it will be the story that I started this morning, no matter how good a story it could turn out being.
Or, I could just give in to the fact that I don't have the necessary drive today and accept it because none of us are writing machines and there will be days where we can't write with that drive.
And I may very well bring this quarter to an end far sooner than I would otherwise, but it won't happen just yet.
So onward as each word is one word less that I have to write in the fourth quarter, where I will certainly write because I am not going let myself fail to write in two quarters.
One is fine, even though I can manage to write in all four quarters with the 10, 20, 40 and 80, I certainly didn't do it today.
Oh bother.
And bother it is as I feel the pull to draw and since I'm not doing any good here, I might just give in to it, even though I can just put it on hold and not just bring it to an end.
Sadly, my preference is to bring it to an end rather than bring it to a pause, not that that will be very helpful to me today when I know that I will not have much time to write in the 4th.
So what's this alien on Earth going to do?
It turns out I am not doing what I thought that I would be doing tonight, and am instead doing something else, which while closer to my humble little home isn't.
Though the doing that I have come to do is a doing that allows me to write, so for the mission, which as ever remains for our little collective, a most important doing because it's something that we have to do as it does not prevent us from the doing of other things.
Especially when there are five of us.
Even though four of them are humans and humans are about the same level of jerk as aliens to be honest.
So for the mission, doing something else other than what I had planned to do has worked out in our favour.
And there can never be enough first good peak days, which are hard to come by, so better to strike while the iron is hot because the iron can go cold as quickly as it gets hot as evidenced by the four straight days where we couldn't reach the camp at the base of the mountain and we weren't even close to reaching it.
But since then we've been taking the days by storm.
Not like the storm that Nos Glorieux need to take the league by if they have any hope of qualifying for the tournament, which is admittedly very unlikely unless this the beginning of a season long streak of 12 games, which again, is both unlikely and too kind at that.
Also, the other teams that ahead of them are not going to stop winning either.
As for tonight, what can I say about what they're doing when no lead is secure and there's so much time left in the 3rd that their scoring the next score to go up by two for the second time tonight is not enough for the aware fans to rest easy.
All this to say I will be surprised if Nos Glorieux's keeper will keep out all remaining shots.
And lo and behold, the other team scored.
This has gotten far beyond old, though I'm not yet feeling like it is certain that the other team will score. Then again, I wasn't feeling the roof was going to fall in on them the night that they couldn't defend their "insurmountable" lead of 3 scores that ended in frustration with a defeat in time over.
So it would be better that I was feeling that yet another defeat was coming as they would stand a better chance at winning.
Oh bother.
And I can't even math where I am on the climb up the mountain because I am lacking the mouse which would allow me to record just how many words I have written.
And yes, it matters not to us that many if not most have no care for what we are trying to do. Chalk it up to one of those things that peoples do.
Like climb mountains, which you can die from attempting. No one is going to die from this effort of ours. And while not as remamrkable as what the good Petrie did in 2019, remains an achievement, if we can achieve it, even it is most assuredly not any path to renown.
We are content to make the effort, come what may.
If only come what may with Nos Glorieux was four wins better, which it could be argued was very much a record that was theirs for the taking that they just refused to take.
Or couldn't.
So here they are, needing to do the improbable, which is to win 15 of the last 18 games.
No challenge at all eh?
Save that it is and only a fool would wager in their favour of them winning that many more games before the tournament begins.
Though stranger things have happened.
And until hope is extinguished, hope remains a flickering flame that can be coaxed to burn brighter.
Or yes, be extinguished with what, back to back defeats?
Oh bother.
It's another time over game for Nos Glorieux.
It will either end quickly in favour of Nos Glorieux or end in the out shoot for the other team.
I was wrong though.
The other team won it in time over.
Oh bother doubled and squared twice over.
So much for having a two score lead.
Or a three or four score lead.
All they are missing is a five score lead.
Tell me that they won't do that before the season ends. That would be too much.
So that's exactly what's going to happen the very next game yes? It would be fitting, in a bad way, because the next team they play is the won they skated away to the four score lead on that they could not protect.
If I had gone and done what I had planned to, before I started to not feel well enough for it, I would be blissfully unaware of what has transpired this night and would be the better for not knowing,
Only, I'd be worse off as it comes to the quest and I would have come to know of their latest setback and lost out on the goodly march towards the first good peak.
So better the way it unfolded, in the long run than how I thought it was going to unfold because that thing I was going to do, I can do it on one of the next four nights.
And that is exactly what I am going to do.
Alas, our race towards the first good peak is going to be cut short because this human built computer, as they are built by humans who insist that hand waving is the solution to all problems, is going to power down sooner than later.
But at least we made it a journey well worth the taking yes?
Yes, that we did.
There's always tomorrow to write more and better yes.
If only we knew just how far off we were from the first good peak we could rest easy knowing that we had made it.
But we cannot know that we have claimed victory by the quietest of deedings for it and to stop now when we are an unknown number of words short. And make no mistake about it, doing that would hurt. And me most of all because I was the one who couldn't write harder in the 3rd,
Now it's the 4th and stopping seems like admitting defeat. And maybe, just maybe, I am tired of admitting defeat.
So I press on.
Only now what? Other than calling it a night because there's no shame in calling it here when the collective is strong and has no need to be afeared of the absolute failure of our sacred quest.
And nursing the bitterness of this night's defeat might well serve to push us on all the harder tomorrow where we will resume the winning of the last five days.
So this is where I hang my head accept defeat, even though there remains as much time before the powering down as there does.
Only I am feeling stubborn and want to continue the writing that admittedly only a handful of you humans care about.
And that care is nothing more than clicking onto each posting like it's some kind of game or something.
If I was to give licence to the doubters. Not that they are necessarily wrong.
No matter, we do this because we can and know that very few other can do what we are doing.
And right now, that is enough for us.
This is also the point where I bring the day's writing to an end, before the human build powers down.
Be well humans and dream your dreams eh? But if you want to make them come true, support them properly because at a certain point being stubborn is being a fool.
Charles Petrie
Date
02-25-20
Time
04:36-05:56=80, 12:32-13:32=60, 20:10-22:22=132
272 Minutes
Whether I will be able to see this through to the end because of this feeling of fatigue, even though i do not think that I will fall asleep as I sit in my chair and wonder of I should not go to the Face Club as often as I do because I have to wonder if I do gain from going there.
Granted, it affords me an excellent opportunity to draw a goodly number of drawings that I wouldn't have otherwise, but now when I need to be wide awake and writing hard, I am fighting off fatigue and wondering if I can write well in these crucial eighty minutes where it is essential that I write one thousand words to say the least.
And 1000 words would in fact be a terrible least as 1300 is far more close to the tally that I seeking because this means of attacking the words lends itself well to the writing of 3000 words, which again, is not needed, but if we can grab these tallies as opposed to the lesser tallies of the lesser days, or the reaching of the camp at the base of the mountain, than so much better off we will be.
Especially when I feel the wake of creativity from going to the Club and encountering a human friend who has a far greater talent in drawing than I as well as complementary ones that make me envious of her.
And as you can no doubt imagine, I am rarely, if ever envious of humans.
But I am envious of her with her obvious superior talent in the scratching out of lines on a page and can well imagine that she can craft a tale better than I can as well.
But I would sooner encourage a resumption of these doings, even if it was for but once a week or month, it would give me a reason to puff out my chest for having encouraged the sharing of a gift. of hers than to say whatever, we don't need you.
And a simple way for this would in the creating of a strip, which could easily be done weekly which is not a great requirement of time.
Or am I wrong for thinking this? Is this a human thing that I can't understand because I am not human?
Whatever the case may be, I offered her a challenge that if I can draw a a figure that strikesa her fancy, she will draw him, or her.
She has not agreed to accept this challenge, but fingers crossed, she will accept it, even though it coud take me months to draw that one drawing that will spark the goodly want in her to write.
But this is a goodly challenge for myself that I will attack with reckless abandon.
Or some form of it, with one effort a day in the coming months.
If only i could say the same about one effort a day in drawing a drawing that can possibly inspire a story. But that is easier said than done.
But this of course has noting to do with my hearer to tired state of mind.
Maybe it is the looming sword that is above my head and swinging fast enough to snap free of its hanging rope so that it can fall at my feet and scare some more alien out of me.
Oh bother.
Brother Remmikyn stood quietly in front of the high heavy doors as he had for months, since the Eldest of the Order had bid him to do one early morning like it was the most important thing that could be asked, which was of course very curious since all they did at the Great House of Galth was to brew Drinkk and baked the breads of goodful health.
So being asked and in secret no less to daily stand guard for five hours each day was the most curious of things that could have been asked of him.
But for all those months since that day, nothing untoward has happened and should have continued to be the case.
Only this was to prove to not be the case, this day as he had just come to stand in front of the door.
It is as I feared as the tally that I sought out is not going to be the tally that I reach with both hands as I have come to write slowly this morning as I am only now closing in on 800 words with ten minutes of writing left before the alarm it sounds and I step away from the keyboard and shake my head in disappointment that I could do no better than 1073 words when I had as much time as I did
Surely this day will fail to be any good as I will fall well short of the first good peak only the second say of this great experiment.
This is not good at all.
An alien writer should be able to do better than a human writer for weeks on end. But I couldn't manage to do it for days.
I should be ashamed of myself for failing as epicly as I have with not even 1073 words which is not even a number of significance. The minimum that I reached with the morning being one of 80 instead of ten was 1200, not 981.
Surely I deserve nothing more than a single meal this day since I could not earn myself a goodful helping of good
And what better time to punish my failings than at the first meal, since it was at the first meal that I failed. I deserve no less a punishment.
Oh bother,
How could I write so slowly when I did so very well last night when the 80 minutes was laid out in front of me.
Or did I fail so badly because I ignored the natural order of things by seeking to write the largest most in the first writing of the day?
That could well be it because I am not falling upon my face tired, which would explain this failing more readily.
All that truly matters is that I have failed to bring myself as close to the higher and longer with this sad excuse of a writer's sitting.
There will be no breakfast for me this day.
And I will wear the robes of my shame for the length of the day.
I couldn't even go two whole days with the fullness of the 10, 20, 40, 80 as I failed to even make an appearance in the second quarter.
Also, I don't think that I'm going to climb all the way to the first good peak for the first time in almost a week.
But I will reach the camp at the base of the mountain because I am just going to write until I do as I am dropping the 10, 20, 40, 80 today.
Of course, thanks to the first quarter's tally, I only have to write another 857 words.
I can do that in the next hour if I can just catch a little flow.
But I don't think that it will be the story that I started this morning, no matter how good a story it could turn out being.
Or, I could just give in to the fact that I don't have the necessary drive today and accept it because none of us are writing machines and there will be days where we can't write with that drive.
And I may very well bring this quarter to an end far sooner than I would otherwise, but it won't happen just yet.
So onward as each word is one word less that I have to write in the fourth quarter, where I will certainly write because I am not going let myself fail to write in two quarters.
One is fine, even though I can manage to write in all four quarters with the 10, 20, 40 and 80, I certainly didn't do it today.
Oh bother.
And bother it is as I feel the pull to draw and since I'm not doing any good here, I might just give in to it, even though I can just put it on hold and not just bring it to an end.
Sadly, my preference is to bring it to an end rather than bring it to a pause, not that that will be very helpful to me today when I know that I will not have much time to write in the 4th.
So what's this alien on Earth going to do?
It turns out I am not doing what I thought that I would be doing tonight, and am instead doing something else, which while closer to my humble little home isn't.
Though the doing that I have come to do is a doing that allows me to write, so for the mission, which as ever remains for our little collective, a most important doing because it's something that we have to do as it does not prevent us from the doing of other things.
Especially when there are five of us.
Even though four of them are humans and humans are about the same level of jerk as aliens to be honest.
So for the mission, doing something else other than what I had planned to do has worked out in our favour.
And there can never be enough first good peak days, which are hard to come by, so better to strike while the iron is hot because the iron can go cold as quickly as it gets hot as evidenced by the four straight days where we couldn't reach the camp at the base of the mountain and we weren't even close to reaching it.
But since then we've been taking the days by storm.
Not like the storm that Nos Glorieux need to take the league by if they have any hope of qualifying for the tournament, which is admittedly very unlikely unless this the beginning of a season long streak of 12 games, which again, is both unlikely and too kind at that.
Also, the other teams that ahead of them are not going to stop winning either.
As for tonight, what can I say about what they're doing when no lead is secure and there's so much time left in the 3rd that their scoring the next score to go up by two for the second time tonight is not enough for the aware fans to rest easy.
All this to say I will be surprised if Nos Glorieux's keeper will keep out all remaining shots.
And lo and behold, the other team scored.
This has gotten far beyond old, though I'm not yet feeling like it is certain that the other team will score. Then again, I wasn't feeling the roof was going to fall in on them the night that they couldn't defend their "insurmountable" lead of 3 scores that ended in frustration with a defeat in time over.
So it would be better that I was feeling that yet another defeat was coming as they would stand a better chance at winning.
Oh bother.
And I can't even math where I am on the climb up the mountain because I am lacking the mouse which would allow me to record just how many words I have written.
And yes, it matters not to us that many if not most have no care for what we are trying to do. Chalk it up to one of those things that peoples do.
Like climb mountains, which you can die from attempting. No one is going to die from this effort of ours. And while not as remamrkable as what the good Petrie did in 2019, remains an achievement, if we can achieve it, even it is most assuredly not any path to renown.
We are content to make the effort, come what may.
If only come what may with Nos Glorieux was four wins better, which it could be argued was very much a record that was theirs for the taking that they just refused to take.
Or couldn't.
So here they are, needing to do the improbable, which is to win 15 of the last 18 games.
No challenge at all eh?
Save that it is and only a fool would wager in their favour of them winning that many more games before the tournament begins.
Though stranger things have happened.
And until hope is extinguished, hope remains a flickering flame that can be coaxed to burn brighter.
Or yes, be extinguished with what, back to back defeats?
Oh bother.
It's another time over game for Nos Glorieux.
It will either end quickly in favour of Nos Glorieux or end in the out shoot for the other team.
I was wrong though.
The other team won it in time over.
Oh bother doubled and squared twice over.
So much for having a two score lead.
Or a three or four score lead.
All they are missing is a five score lead.
Tell me that they won't do that before the season ends. That would be too much.
So that's exactly what's going to happen the very next game yes? It would be fitting, in a bad way, because the next team they play is the won they skated away to the four score lead on that they could not protect.
If I had gone and done what I had planned to, before I started to not feel well enough for it, I would be blissfully unaware of what has transpired this night and would be the better for not knowing,
Only, I'd be worse off as it comes to the quest and I would have come to know of their latest setback and lost out on the goodly march towards the first good peak.
So better the way it unfolded, in the long run than how I thought it was going to unfold because that thing I was going to do, I can do it on one of the next four nights.
And that is exactly what I am going to do.
Alas, our race towards the first good peak is going to be cut short because this human built computer, as they are built by humans who insist that hand waving is the solution to all problems, is going to power down sooner than later.
But at least we made it a journey well worth the taking yes?
Yes, that we did.
There's always tomorrow to write more and better yes.
If only we knew just how far off we were from the first good peak we could rest easy knowing that we had made it.
But we cannot know that we have claimed victory by the quietest of deedings for it and to stop now when we are an unknown number of words short. And make no mistake about it, doing that would hurt. And me most of all because I was the one who couldn't write harder in the 3rd,
Now it's the 4th and stopping seems like admitting defeat. And maybe, just maybe, I am tired of admitting defeat.
So I press on.
Only now what? Other than calling it a night because there's no shame in calling it here when the collective is strong and has no need to be afeared of the absolute failure of our sacred quest.
And nursing the bitterness of this night's defeat might well serve to push us on all the harder tomorrow where we will resume the winning of the last five days.
So this is where I hang my head accept defeat, even though there remains as much time before the powering down as there does.
Only I am feeling stubborn and want to continue the writing that admittedly only a handful of you humans care about.
And that care is nothing more than clicking onto each posting like it's some kind of game or something.
If I was to give licence to the doubters. Not that they are necessarily wrong.
No matter, we do this because we can and know that very few other can do what we are doing.
And right now, that is enough for us.
This is also the point where I bring the day's writing to an end, before the human build powers down.
Be well humans and dream your dreams eh? But if you want to make them come true, support them properly because at a certain point being stubborn is being a fool.
Charles Petrie
Date
02-25-20
Time
04:36-05:56=80, 12:32-13:32=60, 20:10-22:22=132
272 Minutes
Word Count
1163+364+1329=2856
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